Today was the day. The day you felt the overwhelming urge to be done with this life. Suicide felt like the right decision. As a relief from pain you have been desperately trying to escape. There was a flaw in your plan. Fear, family, friends or fate caused a pause in the plan you were … Continue reading As an inpatient psychiatric nurse, I’m glad you’re here.
Emotions have always been carefully controlled in my life. Growing up I was told not to be upset when bad things happened. This did not eliminate the issue I was facing but facilitated a pattern of suppressing what I was feeling and only revealing levels of emotional expression that would be considered acceptable. As with … Continue reading Trying to express emotion when you’ve lived life emotionally controlled. A story of a failed attempt at opening up.
5 years old I was playing Chop, chop, TIMBER! on my parents bed. As I trust fell backwards over and over again, I didn't realize how close I was to the headboard on the bed. The last time was a doozy and I cracked my head and neck on the edge of that wooden piece … Continue reading Why I should probably be dead. Tales of “Crash n’ Burns”
Summer has been in full swing now and another round of no makeup selfies has begun. Women of social media have been posting photos with the tag #nomakeup in droves. The posts garner plenty of attention and seem to fulfill one need or another. There is always an excuse as to why it is vitally … Continue reading If you are going to take a “No Makeup Selfie” take off your damn makeup.
Let's just be honest here...
In life many people strive for perfection. There is an image of a perfection that seems completely unobtainable. Guess what, it is unobtainable. I am now a mom of three under five, in my thirties, and there are just so many damns I do not give. Damn not given #1: Toxic relationships: Growing up I … Continue reading Giving Up on Giving a Damn
Christmas is full of planning, stress, and obligations. The anxiety of the day can take over rather quickly. The distractions of the holiday details can blur your view of what is truly important. Many times this holiday season I have found myself worrying about preparing to have a perfect day. I worry my children will … Continue reading Presence Not Presents
There are days that are more emotionally taxing than others. We've all been in an emotionally vulnerable frame of mind that leaves us exhausted. For me, today was one of those days. Emotional vulnerability is not something I am comfortable with. I prefer to keep my emotions tight-lipped. Honestly, I'd rather have a colonoscopy than … Continue reading Tonight I cried in front of my kids.
I made it 11 years until one day, I saw something that looked suspiciously like a cavity.
You find a seat, pull out your notebook, new pen, and you are stocked with caffeine. You are ready to absorb knowledge. Then the scenario begins to shift. The speaker begins to introduce themselves... on a personal level. You take a deep breath and prepare yourself for what is to come. Then it happens, you … Continue reading Ice Breakers: The biggest nope of all.