Today was the day. The day you felt the overwhelming urge to be done with this life. Suicide felt like the right decision. As a relief from pain you have been desperately trying to escape. There was a flaw in your plan. Fear, family, friends or fate caused a pause in the plan you were … Continue reading As an inpatient psychiatric nurse, I’m glad you’re here.
Emotions have always been carefully controlled in my life. Growing up I was told not to be upset when bad things happened. This did not eliminate the issue I was facing but facilitated a pattern of suppressing what I was feeling and only revealing levels of emotional expression that would be considered acceptable. As with … Continue reading Trying to express emotion when you’ve lived life emotionally controlled. A story of a failed attempt at opening up.
I'm treading water at best.
It was a soft Sunday afternoon when my 3 year old was napping and the Wisconsin summer sun seemed extra warm. Not harsh, just warm. There was a breeze that was so perfect. It was the breeze you only ever read about in a book, never really experiencing (or remembering) the perfection of what the … Continue reading A little gardening saved me.
My anxiety is functional. I am hyper-organized, I am prepared for anything, and I am typically 10 steps ahead of reality. My mind also never stops. I over analyze every conversation. I have certain fears that are irrational but very real to me. My anxiety has lead to me having success academically and professionally but … Continue reading Watching my anxiety develop in my son: Guilt and frustration.
Mother's Day has come and gone. The remnants of the day can still be found in the wilting flowers, Hallmark cards, and brunch leftovers. Another less talked about Mother's Day residue is the remaining negative feelings that some people experience. Mother's Day can be difficult for a lot of different reasons. The struggles of infertility, … Continue reading I hope you’re ok: An open letter to those who struggle on Mother’s Day
Mental healthcare is a topic that is widely talked about but limitedly understood. I by no means claim to have all the answers but as a mental health nurse I do have some insight. We do not become mental health nurses by accident. No one just falls until mental health nursing. Pursuing a career in … Continue reading What a mental health nurse wants you to know about mental health care.