When Your Kids Act as a Cautionary Tale of the Importance of Birth Control.

C1 (5-year old boy) and C2 (3-year old girl) had been picking at each other all day.  The amount of tattling, screaming, and general asshole behavior was getting at my last nerve.  This irritating behavior had escalated to a full-blown game of "bitch, slap, whine, repeat".  I was exhausted. I had the brilliant (you know if I describe myself … Continue reading When Your Kids Act as a Cautionary Tale of the Importance of Birth Control.

I hope you’re ok: An open letter to those who struggle on Mother’s Day

Mother's Day has come and gone. The remnants of the day can still be found in the wilting flowers, Hallmark cards, and brunch leftovers. Another less talked about Mother's Day residue is the remaining negative feelings that some people experience. Mother's Day can be difficult for a lot of different reasons. The struggles of infertility, … Continue reading I hope you’re ok: An open letter to those who struggle on Mother’s Day

The Hairy Nipple Incident: Trying to parent with a straight face.

Let me begin by explaining a few important contributing factors to The Hairy Nipple Incident. 1. I am a nurse. Because of this my son is well versed in anatomy. 2. My son enjoys arguing. Especially when it is an argument he knows he can win. 3. My son is 6-years old and 6-year olds … Continue reading The Hairy Nipple Incident: Trying to parent with a straight face.

Post-Party Hangover: When no more craps are given.

Parties are great. Whatever the occasion, you are celebrating something with the people you care about. Even if that celebration is simply that you are able to spend time together. The amount of preparation, planning, and anxiety associated with the event pays off in love, laughter, and memories. Almost every party has that moment when … Continue reading Post-Party Hangover: When no more craps are given.

I can’t help but laugh when asked for parenting advice. 

I have three kids. A 5-year old boy, 4-year old girl, and a 1-year old girl.   Others frequently assume I have figured out a few things in regards to parenting.   This entire notion is humorous.  My parenting skill is far from expert.   Asking me for advice on raising children is like asking … Continue reading I can’t help but laugh when asked for parenting advice. 

The psychological torture of the car-cart

Grocery shopping with kids is stressful by itself.   Trying to remember everything, stay on budget, and not lose my mind while wrangling small children in public is no easy feat. Then enter the level of hell that is the grocery car-cart. On the surface one would assume that the car-cart is a fun distraction … Continue reading The psychological torture of the car-cart

Stealing time: Creating a break. 

I should be putting away laundry.   I really need to clean the kitchen. The vacuum needs attention.  There is an unidentified smell in the family room.   But for a moment, I don't care.  Right now I'm enjoying a moment. A little stolen moment where I can sit and do nothing. Currently I am … Continue reading Stealing time: Creating a break. 

I am jealous of a blanky.

All of my children have done it.  All three have become inexplicably attached to a piece of fabric.   Blankies rule the roost in our home. When blankies are being washed, my children enter a mourning period.  God forbid I dry the things too.  There are few things worse than a crying baby,  especially one … Continue reading I am jealous of a blanky.

Guaranteed ways to wake up the kids. 

Every parent understands the beauty of bedtime.  Every parent also understands the frustration of bedtime fails.  The following is a short list of ways I have recently woken up my children. Try not to wake up the kids. Think about having sex. Be completely silent. Plan an at home date night. Plan some personal time. … Continue reading Guaranteed ways to wake up the kids. 

I just want to raise good humans. 

I want the very best for my children.   I want them to be able to achieve whatever goal they will eventually set for their lives. Recently it hit me that I do not care what that goal is,  but I want it to include them being good people.  The evening before my son's first … Continue reading I just want to raise good humans.