Reflect a little

I cherish playtime with the kids but I also cherish their nap time. It gives me a chance to sit outside and read, or just simply soak up a little sun in quiet. I usually do my best writing in these moments too.

I need this time to reflect and to prepare. You’ve read it a hundred times in my articles; this is a hard time in life for me. It’s busy, it’s stressful, and it’s non-stop. Everytime I think I’m out of the darkest part of the woods, something happens to make it even harder to see the treeline ahead of me. I’m not an overly religious person (to my mother’s disappointment) but every once in a while little sayings will crop up in my head “God only gives you what He knows you can handle.” was one of them. It came out of nowhere while I was in an emotionally dark place.

Thanks for the compliment but my immediate response is “Dude, you have way too much faith in me. I’m treading water over here and could use a break.”

Lately, it has a scenario of “Ok, feeling good, things aren’t so bad.” to “Here’s another major step (or 10) back and my stress and anxiety are making me crazy. ”

Right now, I don’t have enough money. I don’t have enough time. I’ve been letting people down all around me yet burning the candle at both ends in an effort to prevent that very thing.

I’m treading water at best.

I’m trying so hard to do well that if it is not perfection, I’m simply giving up all together. That’s a recipe for destruction and I freaking know it. UGH! I KNOW IT! That’s the worst part!

So what do I need to do here? Cut back? Nope, not an option. Fight harder? You’re damn right! As badly as I need a rest, I know now is not the time.

So dear friends, if you agreed with any of that, let’s raise a glass to being career driven warriors. We are tired but we are also determined. (Maybe a little too determined for our own good.)Here’s to us and this insanity we put ourselves through. Willingly or not.

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