Today was the day. The day you felt the overwhelming urge to be done with this life. Suicide felt like the right decision. As a relief from pain you have been desperately trying to escape. There was a flaw in your plan. Fear, family, friends or fate caused a pause in the plan you were … Continue reading As an inpatient psychiatric nurse, I’m glad you’re here.
Emotions have always been carefully controlled in my life. Growing up I was told not to be upset when bad things happened. This did not eliminate the issue I was facing but facilitated a pattern of suppressing what I was feeling and only revealing levels of emotional expression that would be considered acceptable. As with … Continue reading Trying to express emotion when you’ve lived life emotionally controlled. A story of a failed attempt at opening up.
In life many people strive for perfection. There is an image of a perfection that seems completely unobtainable. Guess what, it is unobtainable. I am now a mom of three under five, in my thirties, and there are just so many damns I do not give. Damn not given #1: Toxic relationships: Growing up I … Continue reading Giving Up on Giving a Damn
Marriage takes a toll on a relationship. That statement seems ridiculous but everyone knows it’s true. The monotony of finances, chores, and general adulthood erodes the spontaneity and sexiness that once defined you as a couple. As the years wear on the beautiful sculpture of your marriage is chiseled to raw and rough stone. Once … Continue reading Marriage requires maintenance if it’s going to last.
There are days that are more emotionally taxing than others. We've all been in an emotionally vulnerable frame of mind that leaves us exhausted. For me, today was one of those days. Emotional vulnerability is not something I am comfortable with. I prefer to keep my emotions tight-lipped. Honestly, I'd rather have a colonoscopy than … Continue reading Tonight I cried in front of my kids.