I hurt everywhere and I have downed a enough ibuprofen to kill a horse...
I was sitting cuddled on the couch with my 5-year old daughter. It was a cool morning and we were wrapped together under a quilt. I had an oversized mug full of hot coffee and copious amounts of cream. It felt pretty picture perfect. Then it happened. A commercial came on for an ice cream … Continue reading Stop with the unicorn poop.
Commence with the damage control...
I am not a woman who puts a lot of value in makeup. It is more of a nuisance to me than a necessity. That being said, makeup has its place. I would feel foolish walking into a big event without a few strokes of mascara and a dash of color. Because of this, I … Continue reading When a “beauty specialist” reveals your “level of aging”.
Never trust them when they say...
In my day, I had it. I was able to grab the attention of a room, manipulate men to my whims, and basically use my womanly means to my full advantage. Does this sound shallow, borderline derogatory, and against everything women are fighting for currently? Yep. Is it still true? Yep. I've never really accepted … Continue reading When a hot guy calls you “ma’am” for the first time.
You find a seat, pull out your notebook, new pen, and you are stocked with caffeine. You are ready to absorb knowledge. Then the scenario begins to shift. The speaker begins to introduce themselves... on a personal level. You take a deep breath and prepare yourself for what is to come. Then it happens, you … Continue reading Ice Breakers: The biggest nope of all.
I want you to know that I carry your words in my heart.
C1 (5-year old boy) and C2 (3-year old girl) had been picking at each other all day. The amount of tattling, screaming, and general asshole behavior was getting at my last nerve. This irritating behavior had escalated to a full-blown game of "bitch, slap, whine, repeat". I was exhausted. I had the brilliant (you know if I describe myself … Continue reading When Your Kids Act as a Cautionary Tale of the Importance of Birth Control.
There are people you meet in life that you simply have an instant connection with. Certain vibes click and your impression of that person is solidified. Typically people talk about this connection as a positive one but the negative is just as prevalent. Sometimes you meet someone that you simply detest. They have not done … Continue reading Instant dislike: Just admit it’s a thing.