I want the very best for my children. I want them to be able to achieve whatever goal they will eventually set for their lives. Recently it hit me that I do not care what that goal is, but I want it to include them being good people. The evening before my son's first … Continue reading I just want to raise good humans.
C2 is my middle child. She is 3-years old, fiercely independent, and unpredictable. I am constantly questioning my ability to parent her in a way that encourages self-expression, while keeping the batshit crazy in check. Her freak-flag flies high. Imagination C2 is a kiddo with an ability to turn any situation into an … Continue reading Parenting a Painfully Independent Spirit
I am one of those parents that usually speaks before I think. This results in some super random comments coming out of my mouth. Potty training: "Don't touch the poop!" "No, your vagina and your butthole are not the same thing." "It will not miss you, flush." "It's cool that you can pee with no … Continue reading A list of crap I can’t believe I’ve said: Parenting Edition
There have been times in my budding parenting career that a true battle of wills has ensued. I never thought I would spend so much time and energy trying to rationalize with a freaking toddler. These conversations are unavoidable, but they are survivable. Pick your battles. Before the battle begins, make sure it is worth … Continue reading Hostile Negotiations: True Parenting Skill
The above picture is my chicken, Luke, and her seven little Jedi. Luke is a badass mama who doesn't take any crap from anyone. She has successfully raised her littles and defended them from an army of barn cats, a 120lb lab, and my own human littles who want to love her chicken littles to … Continue reading Luke the chicken has the right idea: Let your kids enjoy the dirt.
Most people have been exposed to some version of the incessant phonics bus. The monotonous and repetitive droning of letters and sounds is burned into my mind. I have fantasized about the demise of this bus. Watching it be thrown from a highway overpass and then promptly run over by a semitruck, … Continue reading If the phonics bus was honest.
I am sure that everyone has read her comments. She clearly has all her ducks in a row. Hell, her ducks are marching in straight military fashion. You can just picture her perfect little life. You also kind of hope she chokes on her own bullshit. Any news article about an unfortunate accident, … Continue reading I wish my life was as perfect as the mom in the comment section.
"The guilt is a bitch but worse, my patience is razor thin..."
I have experienced times in my parenting life that I have been asked to let "all my friends know" about whatever event or another. At these points I typically just stare off into a distance and look dumbfounded. Most notably my Tired Not Dead partner recently asked me to invite "my people" to a Tired … Continue reading I don’t have people… I have kids: A confession of social isolation.
There is a rule in my home regarding the pristine condition of, well, everything. That rule is that nothing, absolutely nothing, will stay in any form of pristine condition. Somewhere between all the farm critters, my husband's constant projects, 3 kids, and my own general clumsiness, pristine gets lost. I have gathered a small body of … Continue reading This is why we can’t have nice things.
Tired Not Dead 