The above picture is my chicken, Luke, and her seven little Jedi. Luke is a badass mama who doesn't take any crap from anyone. She has successfully raised her littles and defended them from an army of barn cats, a 120lb lab, and my own human littles who want to love her chicken littles to … Continue reading Luke the chicken has the right idea: Let your kids enjoy the dirt.
Most people have been exposed to some version of the incessant phonics bus. The monotonous and repetitive droning of letters and sounds is burned into my mind. I have fantasized about the demise of this bus. Watching it be thrown from a highway overpass and then promptly run over by a semitruck, … Continue reading If the phonics bus was honest.
I am sure that everyone has read her comments. She clearly has all her ducks in a row. Hell, her ducks are marching in straight military fashion. You can just picture her perfect little life. You also kind of hope she chokes on her own bullshit. Any news article about an unfortunate accident, … Continue reading I wish my life was as perfect as the mom in the comment section.
We the Women of the Tired Not Dead, in Order to form a more perfect Impact, establish street-cred, insure domestic Humor, provide for the common comedic relief of ladies everywhere, promote the general welfare of tired women, and secure the Blessings of zoning out to her in her household, and our Posterity, do ordain and … Continue reading We The Women: The Constitution of TND
I believe the trauma of my bangs experience goes back to the very early 2000s. This was the era of large curled bangs that required at least one can of shellac daily. I was young, and my bangs had to be all the rage. I had the biggest and most perfectly curled bangs... until … Continue reading Bangs: The struggle is real.
Pinterest is the epitome of smoke and mirrors. Pinterest has completely convinced me that I can do anything in only 78 easy steps. Case and point I volunteered to cater my mother's retirement party. I'm a nurse, a mother of 3 kids under 5-years old, and not a damn caterer. It all … Continue reading I am a Pinterest Fail
I have experienced times in my parenting life that I have been asked to let "all my friends know" about whatever event or another. At these points I typically just stare off into a distance and look dumbfounded. Most notably my Tired Not Dead partner recently asked me to invite "my people" to a Tired … Continue reading I don’t have people… I have kids: A confession of social isolation.
There is a rule in my home regarding the pristine condition of, well, everything. That rule is that nothing, absolutely nothing, will stay in any form of pristine condition. Somewhere between all the farm critters, my husband's constant projects, 3 kids, and my own general clumsiness, pristine gets lost. I have gathered a small body of … Continue reading This is why we can’t have nice things.
Camping. What sounds better than leaving the house (which we have worked so hard on and paid so much money for) to live like banshees out in the woods? How does that sound appealing? We leave the luxuries of running water and electricity, so we can do all the same shit-chores without any of the … Continue reading Camping: One Big NOPE.
Working in the field of nursing is challenging. Constant changes are just part of the job. One thing that never seems to change is the family atmosphere of the nursing profession. It only makes sense. Staff spend late nights, weekends, and holidays together. Often times we see each other more often than many of … Continue reading RN Culture: One Big Dysfunctional Family
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