I had it all figured out, before I had kids. Enter baby #1 and the world cracked open to display my inadequacies, short comings, and general dumbassery (autocorrect hated that one). Total Screw Up 1: I thought pregnancy would be easy. You can stop laughing any time now. I got pregnant my last … Continue reading I was the best mom, before I had kids: A cautionary tale.
The above picture is my chicken, Luke, and her seven little Jedi. Luke is a badass mama who doesn't take any crap from anyone. She has successfully raised her littles and defended them from an army of barn cats, a 120lb lab, and my own human littles who want to love her chicken littles to … Continue reading Luke the chicken has the right idea: Let your kids enjoy the dirt.
Most people have been exposed to some version of the incessant phonics bus. The monotonous and repetitive droning of letters and sounds is burned into my mind. I have fantasized about the demise of this bus. Watching it be thrown from a highway overpass and then promptly run over by a semitruck, … Continue reading If the phonics bus was honest.
I am sure that everyone has read her comments. She clearly has all her ducks in a row. Hell, her ducks are marching in straight military fashion. You can just picture her perfect little life. You also kind of hope she chokes on her own bullshit. Any news article about an unfortunate accident, … Continue reading I wish my life was as perfect as the mom in the comment section.
"The guilt is a bitch but worse, my patience is razor thin..."
There is a rule in my home regarding the pristine condition of, well, everything. That rule is that nothing, absolutely nothing, will stay in any form of pristine condition. Somewhere between all the farm critters, my husband's constant projects, 3 kids, and my own general clumsiness, pristine gets lost. I have gathered a small body of … Continue reading This is why we can’t have nice things.
Camping. What sounds better than leaving the house (which we have worked so hard on and paid so much money for) to live like banshees out in the woods? How does that sound appealing? We leave the luxuries of running water and electricity, so we can do all the same shit-chores without any of the … Continue reading Camping: One Big NOPE.
Tired Not Dead 