Most people have been exposed to some version of the incessant phonics bus. The monotonous and repetitive droning of letters and sounds is burned into my mind. I have fantasized about the demise of this bus. Watching it be thrown from a highway overpass and then promptly run over by a semitruck, … Continue reading If the phonics bus was honest.
I am sure that everyone has read her comments. She clearly has all her ducks in a row. Hell, her ducks are marching in straight military fashion. You can just picture her perfect little life. You also kind of hope she chokes on her own bullshit. Any news article about an unfortunate accident, … Continue reading I wish my life was as perfect as the mom in the comment section.
I have experienced times in my parenting life that I have been asked to let "all my friends know" about whatever event or another. At these points I typically just stare off into a distance and look dumbfounded. Most notably my Tired Not Dead partner recently asked me to invite "my people" to a Tired … Continue reading I don’t have people… I have kids: A confession of social isolation.
There is a rule in my home regarding the pristine condition of, well, everything. That rule is that nothing, absolutely nothing, will stay in any form of pristine condition. Somewhere between all the farm critters, my husband's constant projects, 3 kids, and my own general clumsiness, pristine gets lost. I have gathered a small body of … Continue reading This is why we can’t have nice things.
Camping. What sounds better than leaving the house (which we have worked so hard on and paid so much money for) to live like banshees out in the woods? How does that sound appealing? We leave the luxuries of running water and electricity, so we can do all the same shit-chores without any of the … Continue reading Camping: One Big NOPE.
I am a greasy lady. I sweat while sitting. I sweat a shit-ton when stressed. When I work out, forget about it. In my younger days I was a two-shower-a-day lady. In high school/college I could have easily supplied enough moisture to function as a household humidifier. Marriage, big-girl job, and three … Continue reading Ode to Dry Shampoo
Tired Not Dead 