Every parent understands the beauty of bedtime. Every parent also understands the frustration of bedtime fails. The following is a short list of ways I have recently woken up my children. Try not to wake up the kids. Think about having sex. Be completely silent. Plan an at home date night. Plan some personal time. … Continue reading Guaranteed ways to wake up the kids.
Lately, my 5 year old has been a real handful. Arguments, back talk, sass, the whole shebang. I could tell him the sky is blue and he would contradict me. It is exhausting. Timeouts do not work, taking things away does not work, so what's left? Bribery, er, I mean, goal-making. Most recently I had … Continue reading We don’t call it bribery. We call it goal making. So there.
I want the very best for my children. I want them to be able to achieve whatever goal they will eventually set for their lives. Recently it hit me that I do not care what that goal is, but I want it to include them being good people. The evening before my son's first … Continue reading I just want to raise good humans.
C2 is my middle child. She is 3-years old, fiercely independent, and unpredictable. I am constantly questioning my ability to parent her in a way that encourages self-expression, while keeping the batshit crazy in check. Her freak-flag flies high. Imagination C2 is a kiddo with an ability to turn any situation into an … Continue reading Parenting a Painfully Independent Spirit
I was tired. I desperately needed some extra sleep after being held-over to work until 3am. It was a cool morning and my husband had cracked a window in our bedroom. I was cuddled under a down blanket. My husband had left for work, so the bed was mine. The baby woke … Continue reading Some days I rock the “Mom” title. Today my kids ate 2-pounds of sandwich meat for breakfast while I slept.
Motherhood is hard. If you are anything like me you are likely your biggest critic. I experience constant doubt about my parenting skills. I often wonder just how badly I'm screwing up my kids. There have been multiple moments that I am sure a therapist will hear about in 20-years or so. Adding the critical … Continue reading Cut the Crap: The sanctimommy B.S. needs to stop
"I have a totally legit excuse to go to Target. A small win for the giant sink-hole of a current situation."
I am one of those parents that usually speaks before I think. This results in some super random comments coming out of my mouth. Potty training: "Don't touch the poop!" "No, your vagina and your butthole are not the same thing." "It will not miss you, flush." "It's cool that you can pee with no … Continue reading A list of crap I can’t believe I’ve said: Parenting Edition
There have been times in my budding parenting career that a true battle of wills has ensued. I never thought I would spend so much time and energy trying to rationalize with a freaking toddler. These conversations are unavoidable, but they are survivable. Pick your battles. Before the battle begins, make sure it is worth … Continue reading Hostile Negotiations: True Parenting Skill
I had it all figured out, before I had kids. Enter baby #1 and the world cracked open to display my inadequacies, short comings, and general dumbassery (autocorrect hated that one). Total Screw Up 1: I thought pregnancy would be easy. You can stop laughing any time now. I got pregnant my last … Continue reading I was the best mom, before I had kids: A cautionary tale.
Tired Not Dead 