Cut the Crap: The sanctimommy B.S. needs to stop

Motherhood is hard.  If you are anything like me you are likely your biggest critic. I experience constant doubt about my parenting skills.  I often wonder just how badly I’m screwing up my kids.  There have been multiple moments that I am sure a therapist will hear about in 20-years or so.   

Adding the critical opinions of others only builds the pressure.   It can feel crushing.  Even so called “parenting experts” have no true insight into your specific situation and can only speak in generalities. 

The term “Sanctimommy” has gained recent popularity. Basically this term refers to asshole moms who feel the need to spread their unsolicited “wisdom” about how to do everything as a mom. 

I have experienced the wrath of multiple different Sanctimommies.  I have told…

  • I should have dressed nicer for the grocery store… and leggings are not pants (I wished her great harm).
  • I should not allow my 3-year old to ride in the cart. She is big enough to remain focussed while shopping. 
  • If I was better with discipline my children would not need discipline.
  • I am spoiling my baby by picking him up when he cries.  But do not pick him up at night when he should be sleeping. 
  • I should not allow my 1-year old to continue using a pacifier. 
  • I should not allow my children to play rough.  
  • It is my fault my baby was born premature. 
  • My baby is fussy because I am too anxious.
  • Etc. 

Here’s an idea that should not be novel but feels like it is.   As a “Mom Community” we need to simply support one another.

  • STOP with the negative online mommy-know-it-all-troll commenters.
  • STOP with the side eyed nasty looks.
  • STOP with the unsolicited advice.

Let’s all check ourselves before posting that comment or opening our mouths.   No one is honestly impressed with the “Dr. Googles”, “Mrs. Perfect Moms”, or “Mrs. I know betters” of the world.  Think “Does this make me an asshole?” before you type or speak.   Everyone will be better off. 

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