As master’s of our domain we need to keep everything flowing at a rate that is still considered viscous. Molasses in wintertime or Niagara Falls, it doesn’t matter how fast stuff has to get done in order to keep our families and our lives in a constant working motion. A flow, if you will. The problems that happen obstruct the flow, we can consider them a dam (stay with me here). Sadly, this dam can be our partner, our spouse, or any number of things, I suppose. But, let’s chat about a husband’s capability to keep the flow in unisen with the rest of the family. Or better yet, how to get them there.
Mowing the lawn
I’ve always said that I am the keeper of the yard. I mow, I shovel, I snowblow and for the most part, I like doing it. Feels good and there’s a sense of pride when it’s done. However, when I don’t have time that’s when the other person needs to take over. To keep the flow. It’s not always fun. It’s a chore. So when we have to prompt our other half to do it, there’s the inevitable grumble or worse, a fight.
I’m not lucky enough to own a dishwasher. When the dishes pile up on the precious counterspace we do have, it’s just another medial task that inflicts on our downtime. Time with each other. However, just because I normally do it, doesn’t mean he can’t. I’m not the maid. I’m a partner and I shouldn’t have to feel like those chores always have to default to me.
We don’t even walk our dogs, we let them put on the tie out. Letting them out and feeding them takes literally 5 minutes at most. When nature calls, the dogs stare at me. Why? Because I take their shit seriously. Just another thing that often defaults to me.
The pressure of making a healthy and thoughtful meal a minimum of 5 days a week is daunting to say the least. After work, the last thing I want to do is cook. I’m tired, I need some time to decompress. However, kids can’t wait, and shouldn’t have to. But I could use some help. Why does this get to be my burden every night? Unless I bitch and complain no one gives a shit or notices that I do it. Do you think it ends there? Nope. The kids reject anything beyond hotdogs and mac n’ cheese. This is a lose-lose battle.
Picking up toys
The crap the covers our floors and serves as a reminder why most accidents happen in the home. It’s beyond obvious but yet, I’m the only one who seems to see it. I’m the jerk to has to remind everyone to do it. Just pick up the damn toys and I won’t lose my shit for the billionth time today, ok? Not. Hard.
The baskets runneth over but I am still the one who hauls it down the steps to basement, cycle it through, fold it, and put it away. Rarely a single step of that process isn’t done by me especially, without any prompting. Why is this only one person’s job? It took the whole family to creates it but no one ever seems to remember that part.
How can I be the only one that can sniff out a poopy diaper? Do I have some super sense of smell? I think not. So why, pray tell, do I have to say, “Hey, it’s your turn.” to which he inserts some BS about how he changed so many diapers blah blah blah, while I can count on one hand the number of diapers he’s changed in the last week.
Getting the Kids Dressed for School or Bed or… Anything
I start my routine earlier than everyone. I have a lot to do: shower, hair, makeup, and getting dressed. That’s just me. Once that stuff is done, onto the kids. Get them up, get them dressed, get them fed, check their back pack if I haven’t the night before, make lunch, find shoes, find coat, find snow pants, etc. He leaves for work as soon as he’s dressed. Must be nice… Here’s a big ole middle finger, my man!
Rant over and this is why I drink wine.