Every marriage has its high and low points but there are some things that just get forgiven and forgotten.
Living in close quarters with another human is hard. Add kids to the mix and it gets messy fast. Now add a full time job or two (most likely two). Yeah, now we have a solid recipe for a heated exchange. It may not be all that often but anger, frustration, stress, a bad day at work and voila, now you’ve both turned into complete jerks. No matter what though, you still crawl into bed together and know tomorrow will be a better day. You forgave it.
Your spouse leaves a mess with the well-intentioned thought of cleaning it up later. Later never comes. You clean up the mess because you are convinced they got busy (or are an inconsiderate jerk) and will try to remember to hold it against them later. Again, later never comes. You forgave and forgot. Bless your little heart.
Grossness (is that even a word?)
More than likely you have walked in or been walked-in on, while you or they are doing something gross. No one can ever be healthy 100% of the time. At a minimum, cold and flu season reminds us that we said “in sickness or in health” on the wedding day. Not only do you forgive seeing them at their grossest but you help them, you nourish them, you love them even though they are fricken nasty at the moment.
This is the the type of stuff that nobody wants to talk about. You can’t stand each other, you loathe each other’s company, you resent the financial stress, you think you work harder than they do, and then, on top of it all, everything goes wrong all at once. Nonetheless, somehow you still find the other as the stronger one. You wait on them to come home and look forward for them to give you that look. The look that relaxes you and makes you think “It’s not that bad. We can do this. We’ve been through worse than this before.”
…and you are likely right.
Now Here Is The End Game
If you are in a strong marriage, you know these things to be true. Things aren’t always perfect, plans change, dreams change, we change, but no matter what, you still come to each other for strength and hope. In good times or in bad, you find peace in each other’s arms. If you don’t, reconsider what your doing and who you’ve chosen. People in strong marriages know it’s never a perfectly paved road but share the map (or maybe it’s just a compass), the dream, and the best part, the love.