This old thing? I’ve had it at least 2 hours, honey.

I frequently purchase a shirt here or a pair of jeans there and my husband never notices. After all, I do handle all of the finances, so the chance of him seeing the debit is slim. After years of me being a super sly fox about hiding new purchases under the cloak of half-truths, I finally got busted by my husband. Alas, 10 years of marriage, he has finally learned to ask the right questions after receiving an initially vague answer. He now knows that when I say “I’ve had this a while” I’m usually talking about having my new purchase since earlier that day, maybe a week if I’m lucky. “How long, exactly have you had this?” He asks. Damn! He’s good!

This is when I break out my best super special smile that either wins him over or conversely, makes him a little agitated. Okay, so now he’s agitated and gives me the riot act about how we should be saving money, blah, blah, blah. I always agree with him and for these reasons:

1. He’s right, we should be saving.
2. He’ll forgive me quicker if I’m apologetic.
3. I’ll let him have a stronger say when he actually gives a damn about saving and/or our finances.
4. He’s just as bad and frequently does the same thing to me.

So, here I am trying to figure out a new strategy to buy my purchases in peace. Until then, I will just hide my bags in the closet for a little longer than usual.