I Feel I need an Explanation: Parenting Edition 

Part of parenting is dealing with the daily moments of, “What the hell?”  It seems that every day poses new questions that I simply cannot answer.

Whose bright idea is this? 

• First, I swear I am the only person in my household who is aware that light switches have the possibility of being turned off.
• Second, I spend a significant amount of time wandering through my home flipping switches. How is it that no other member of my family is capable of performing this task?
• Third, I do not understand why it is necessary to leave lights on when leaving our home.   Pretty sure our critters couldn’t care less.

We have garbage cans for a reason.

• First,  how does garbage accumulate everywhere but the garbage can? My children seem incapable of making the connection that garbage cans are not something that we have simply to decorate our home.
• Second,  the couch cushions take the brunt of it.  I’m not sure how the idea of stashing junk in the creases of couch caught on between all three of my kiddos, but here we are.

Laundry…

• First, dirty laundry never makes it into the hamper.   Hampers are used for forts more often than laundry.
• Second, how do 3 children and 2 adults produce 4 loads of laundry daily?
• Third, how many outfit changes does a 4-year old need in a day?   My daughter changes outfits at least 3 times before lunch.
• Fourth, how do I check every item going into the washer and still end up with a Snickers bar distributed over every single thing in the wash?
• Fifth, have you ever washed a disposable diaper? Unrelated, but it sucks.

The fascination with water. 

• I have no idea what is so fun about playing with the toilet.  It does nothing new, there are no lights, and no prizes.
• Same goes for the bathroom sink.   I can’t even explain the amount of times I have had to mop the bathroom because someone got frisky with the faucet.
• And with this strong affinity for water why do you freak out when you get a few drops of water on a shirt and require new clothes?  *see laundry*

Food…

• How do you dare ask me for a snack after you just sobbed at the table because you swore you were completely full after licking a cracker?
• How is it that once I announce bedtime, you are suddenly going to die in your sleep of malnutrition if you can’t finish the meal you’ve been refusing for 2-hours?

I am simply having a cranky day.   A shower, wine, and sleep will provide me with all the answers I need.