I do not have it in me right now. My patience has been stretched beyond any form of natural limitations. I can feel the jagged edges of my emotions sharpen. The rawness of my temper is exposed. I can feel a dull pressure build in my mind.
It is not one identifiable stressor that has pushed me to the edge. It is a combination of many unresolved irritations. The ant hill has accumulated into a mountain before I had a chance to clear it.
I need a moment. A short moment. I need 5-minutes. Just a few short minutes to regroup, refresh, recoup.
I need to experience quiet. Stifle the screaming. Pause the whining. I want to hear my own thoughts. Time to focus on my own breathing and feel my own heartbeat.
I need to not be touched. The constant physical demands of my family are draining. I want time to redefine my personal space.
I need to feel independent. 5-minutes to remind myself who I am. A break to collect myself and remember the kind of mother and partner I need to be.
I need a break. I need a break before I lose my ability to pull it together. I just need 5-minutes.
5-minutes will help me find my patience and perspective. If you are looking for me, I’ll be hiding in the laundry room enjoying the last of the Halloween candy… but wait 5-minutes before knocking.