The Sober Talk of Shame

Oh, the sweet nectar of the gods. A good time in a bottle. It’s what we can really tribute the birth of TND to. I’m talking about alcohol. Obviously. It’s like the direct connection to my creativity. Something that can take the day’s stress off and help me see the lighter side of things. I am a really happy drinker. I may get a tiny bit sappy but, for the most part, I am just happy to be alive. There is a small caveat to this liquid happiness though.

Let’s Plan!

Remember a second ago when I said my creativity takes hold after a few? This also translates into party planning. Doesn’t matter what it is, I want to help. It could be a wedding, baby shower, funeral, or a backyard bbq. I don’t care, I just want to make it great! So, I make all these plans and get all these ideas and before I know it, me and the lucky duck I’ve been chatting with are well on our way to the best whatever-the-hell it was I agreed to plan. Inevitably, the next morning, I wake up and bury my face into my pillow for a few reasons.

The Talk of Shame

My inner dialogue goes a little something like this…

  1. GAWD, why did I drink so much?
  2. I am NEVER drinking again!
  3. For the love of all sacred things, I need some coffee
  4. Why do I have 14 text messages?
  5. Uh oh! Did say I would help with whatever-the-hell it was with/for them? I did, didn’t I?
  6. I am NEVER drinking again!
  7. Why!? Why do I do this to yourself? Did you think that all of a sudden there’s 25 hours in a day? You idiot!
  8. On the phone with the lucky friend
    • (Insert attempt to back out)
    • “Ok. Yep, I’ll be there at 10 to get things started! Can’t wait!”

I do this at least 4 times a year. I never learn. I am always so motivated and creative by my 3rd or 4th cocktail. “What could possibly go wrong?” I ask myself.

My Sober-Self vs. My Drunk-self

If you have ever drank with me, we’ve probably discussed planning something. I can’t help myself. However, my sober-self is going to be really pissed at my drunk-self and if I am a few in, just smile-and-nod at any plans I offer to make. Consider the verbal contract null and void unless I’ve said it sober. It’s not that I don’t want to help. I do! But chances are, I am not remembering the 1400 other things going on in my life as I schedule this on the fly with you. My sober-self would appreciate it


Author’s note:

This article was written on Day 2 of 14 of “drinking hiatus”. If you’re wondering why, please reread the article.

2 thoughts on “The Sober Talk of Shame

  1. This is the truth behind every great party I’ve thrown, letter I’ve written or adventure I’ve been on.


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