10 rules of the ladies room

  1. No pooping.
    • Girls don’t have butts or at least that is what we want every other woman in there to think.
  2. Quiet it down.
    • Hearing you pee is gross. Dribble, drip, full pour, doesn’t matter.
  3. No tooting.
    • Again, girls don’t have butts.
  4. Dispose of feminine hygiene products appropriately.
    • Over-soaked products floating in tinged water is gross.  The floor is worse. Flush it (see rule number 5) or throw it away.
  5. Courtesy flush.
    • You are fully aware of when this is necessary.  Multiple pushes, multiple flushes.
  6. Stop being so gross.
    • Wiping your boogers on the back of the door. There is literally toilet paper right next to you.
  7. Wipe the damn seat.
    • If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie. No one wants to transfer your urine onto their body or clothing.
  8. Keep your kid’s head out of my stall.
    •  Do you really want whatever I may be doing on your conscience?
  9. Toenail clippings.
    • There is no time where cutting your toenails is an emergency situation and where you need to leave the remnants on the floor. This should not even be a thing.
  10. No Talky.
    • Don’t talk to me while I am peeing. It’s awkward and our chat can wait the 30 seconds until I’m finished.

 

 

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